


Off Guard

by sunflowerwonder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, also Dave will defend Doctor Who to the death, and John just wants to chat with Dave, ear nibbles, in which Bro is an asshole, sloppy make outs, they're both adults though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwonder/pseuds/sunflowerwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John just wants to have a nice, normal, conversation with Dave that will in no way compromise the fact that he's dating his best bro's older brother.</p><p>Bro wants to make out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off Guard

**Author's Note:**

> An anon asked for this on Tumblr a while back. Figured I'd post it on here though. I'm not going to lie, I secretly ship this a lot.

“I’m serious Dave! Doctor Who is not all it’s cracked up to be!” you exclaimed to your best friend as you sat lazily on the couch in his old apartment.

“What are you smoking Egbert. Doctor Who is the shit.” Dave’s tinny voice said, vibrating through the cell phone.

“No. It is shit. You and Jade get excited over the stupidest things sometimes!”

“Whatever. Like you’re one to talk,” Dave scoffs, “John Egbert blows. Time and Space shenanigans rule. The end.”

The door slammed behind you, and you repressed the urge to jump. You’ve lived here for six months; you should stop being surprised by it by now.

“Hey,” you called out, lifting your mouth away from the receiver.

Bro gave you a small wave in acknowledgement, throwing his bag against the wall and heading straight towards the kitchen.

“Hm?” Dave questioned.

“Nothing. Your Bro just got home.”

“Oh right. Guess I forgot my best bro was living with my actual bro. Which is still creepy as fuck by the way.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Houston has a budding comedian community! Besides you’re the one who offered for me to come and live with you.”

“Yeah. And that was all fine and dandy until little Davey went off to film school and Egbert decided to continue to mooch off of his Bro.”

The bro in question wrapped his arms around you from behind the couch and gave you a questioning look. You quickly mouthed “It’s Dave” before returning to your phone.

“For the last time I am not mooching! I help with the rent sometimes!”

“Says the ‘self managing’ comedian who hasn’t had a gig in three weeks.”

“Shut up, Dave. I’m totally legit.”

“Says the ‘self managing’ comedian who hasn’t had a gig in three weeks and is living with my brother while he ‘sometimes’ helps with the rent.”

“Your brother’s cool with it,” you huffed.

“My brother is cool with a lot of things. Most of which are X-rated.” he retorted back.

Bro, who had settled for leaning into your neck to squish the phone between both of your ears to listen in, let out a small snicker. You felt as small pink blush rise to your cheeks.

“Whatever. You totally aren’t in any position to criticize your bro considering all those years you spent idolizing him.”

“I was a kid! And besides I never once denied the guy was a creepy pervert.”

You laughed, “Heh. You’re right about that.”

You felt Bro move himself behind you to shift to the other ear where he casually whispered “But I’m your creepy pervert, John” into it. You promptly shoved him away.

“Speaking of, he’s probably gotten comfortable enough to start hitting on you by now. If he gets too weird tell me and I’ll kick his ass for you, okay?”

“Don’t worry! Me and him are like best bros now.”

A small kiss was planted on your neck. You turned around to shoot Bro the universal “Not. Fucking. Now.” look.

“I find that hard to believe. You should have seen him when I brought Jade over. Guy wasn’t even subtle,” Dave continued.

You raised an eyebrow. Bro shrugged. He gave you another kiss, on the cheek this time though. You didn’t push him away.

“Well he’s been really well behaved! Trust me!”

“Liar,” Dave muttered.

“Liar,” Bro whispered in your ear.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into.

“Well he has,” you said sternly, “And I haven’t expected anything different.”

“Was that a challenge?” Bro said, but you ignored him.

“Just watch your back, Egbert. He’s a conniving little fucker,” Dave deadpanned.

“It’s true, kid,” your sort-of-not-really boyfriend mumbled in your ear.

“God, Dave! It’s fine! Your brother is completely-“

You felt something warm on your ear, making your face turned a rather unattractive shade of scarlet. You bit your lip.

“Egbert? You still there?”

You whipped around to Bro and shot him a glare to rival Satan.

“Yes! I’m chill as fuck Dave!”

“Okay, I thought we agreed ‘chill as fuck’ can only be used by people cool enough to pull it off.”

“And that’s you? Please-“

A nibble this time.

“John?”

“U-Uh… Hang on a sec, Dave! I-I think I may need to go-“

Bro twisted your face to envelope you in a deep kiss, clinking his teeth against yours as your phone fell from your grasp onto the couch. He cupped your cheeks and pulled you closer, and for a second you forgot completely the Dave could probably hear you murmuring against his lips.

Bro finally pulled away with smirk, leaving you breathless like he always did when he kissed you off guard like an asshole.

He quickly picked up the phone before you could retrieve it, pinching it between his face and shoulder as he plopped over the couch and next to you.

“John? Is everything alright, dude?”

“Yeah. Everything’s chill, lil bro,” he smiled, “By the way, me and John are dating.”

And with that the phone was clicked shut.


End file.
